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COME ON IN! WHAT'LL YOU HAVE? |
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CLICK HERE FOR IMPORTANT Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the TABARD INN. For those unfamiliar with Chaucer, the Tabard Inn was the place his pilgrims stopped to rest and tell their tales before they continued on their way to Canterbury. Some were old-fashioned, and others were bawdy, and it is this duality to his work that defines this magazine. Between the covers of any of our issues, you will find stories . . . . Too many publications on the market today want their material to be so watered-down they can easily pander to all ages (so they can cash in on kids, one of the hottest demographics in history). Others look down their aquiline noses at excessive material, considering it to be trash. But then, to be fair, there's the other side of the spectrum, where everything is about senseless gore and absurd violence. In other words, people of this latter camp believe they can just give us sizzle and throw out the steak. Sorry, folks, but I'm a meat-eater. The rarer, the better. I mention all this to help lay down the guidelines. Yes, the stories that appear in this magazine can go to whatever extremes the writer desires. BUT! I don't want senseless garbage. There has to be content. Plot and characterization are a must. Remember, these are stories, and as such must have some kind of structure, no matter how askewed it is. Didactic stories are all right, provided the story entertains. No out and out preaching. There are no restrictions on genre, but I prefer horror, sci-fi, and mystery. If you've got a fantasy story you want to try out on me, you might want to save the postage. It has to be really fucking good. And please, no vampires unless your story is completely unique. The same goes for ghosts and serial killers. There are reasons why horror is a failing genre, and they are familiarity and inbreeding. I know it's damn-near impossible to have an original thought, but I want my writers to strive. It's really for everyone's good. Okay, now for things I definitely don't want. Non-fiction. There are two regular columns (if I publish enough for them to be regular, anyway), but THAT IS IT. My focus is fiction. It is my passion, it is what keeps me alive, and it is my work. Also, for this reason, I won't be accepting many poems. I'm not saying I won't take them, but they have to be good enough to make me come in my pants. And they'd better be short. Any longer than a page and forget it. In fact, I like them to be no longer than a sonnet, if at all possible. You will notice something a little different about this magazine: there are no reviews. No book reviews, no movie reviews, no music reviews, none of that bullshit. And people who write this kind of thing are reviewers, not critics. The latter are long dead, and the former are far too prolific. Such articles are all about tricking readers into believing your taste is impeccable, usually by showing off how witty you are. I should know; I spent a good deal of time in college writing reviews. Trust me, no one gives a shit whether or not you liked WHITE CHICKS, so save it. Again, this is primarily a FICTION magazine. Now, the particulars. Stories shouldn't be longer than 5,000 words. I hate to say this, but I don't have the money to pay any of my writers, and that's no way to run a magazine. I want to give you guys something more than contributors copies. This is my financial compromise: each writer whose work I accept to appear in TABARD INN will receive one American dollar and two contributors copies. If I ever get as big as CEMETERY DANCE, I'll pay more, but for now, that's it. You can submit your work to:
I'm not a big fan of email submissions. However, I know what it's like to be poor, and if that's your only option (and your story better be good), you can send it to editor@talesofquestionabletaste.com. Simultaneous submissions are fine. I'm going to try to comment on every reject, but I make no promises. I accept First Serial Rights, so the rights revert back to the writer after publication. I'm going to go to press whenever I have the money, so TABARD INN will probably be released irregularly, and as such I won't be offering subscriptions. I don't want to rip anybody off. For sample issues, see the Buy It Here section. I accept checks or money orders (please make them out to John Bruni and mail to the above address), or you can use the Paypal option on this website. Thanks for reading my pitch, and I hope you order your copies soon. If you're a writer, I hope to receive submissions from you. Pleasant journey, and I hope to see you all again. Sincerely, |
